October always feels like a turning point. The year has carried us through so much already, and before we know it, the holidays will come rushing in, year-end deadlines, and the “new year, new me” mantras. I can get overwhelmed just thinking about it.
For so much of my life, I believed I had to be doing something every single moment. If I stopped, I felt a gnawing panic inside like I was falling behind, like I had to catch up, like I needed to get ahead of the visible and invisible deadlines. Always running, always chasing, as if a shadow of doom was just a step behind me.
But here’s the truth I’ve learned (the hard way): There is no such thing as “there.” That place I thought I was running toward? It doesn’t exist. Because just when you reach the bar, the bar will move again. The to-do list will refill. The responsibilities will grow. And in the words of the Haitian proverb, Dèyè mòn gen mòn “Beyond mountains there are mountains.” Meaning beyond one mountain, you will only meet the next mountain to climb, so what’s the rush?
One day I learned the gift of “white space” and how hard you must fight to protect it. White space means to intentionally create moments of unstructured quiet and undistracted pause. It’s a fancy way to say SIS, STOP AND DO NOTHING. Let your brain sit still, catch your breath and chill. Those pauses don’t make you fall behind they remind you why you’re climbing at all.
Here’s a warning. As recentering as this sounds, you must respect your “white space” before anyone else will. The moment you pause, something and someone WILL try to infringe on that space. This October, I invite you to block it off in your calendar like an appointment you won’t miss. Guard it the way you guard commitments to everyone else. Let it be a walk, a nap, a journal page, or five quiet minutes just sitting in silence in your car. This space belongs to you! No visitors. No sharing.
Your body, your mind, your spirit they deserve the pause and you may just find that in the quiet, you are exactly where you need to be.
Selah,
Dr Tina and My Lady Business
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month and here at MLB we want you to know there are options and there is hope. Feel free to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) or Text “Start” at 88788 or visit https://www.thehotline.org
